Why?

Why oh why….

I hate having this feeling because I just KNOW it will go away sooner or later.. why can’t it just go away now???

I don’t even know what to DO with this feeling!

It’s only been like 4 weeks (not even a month)…. don’t you think it’s a little too fast?
haha.
Don’t know. Part of me wants it to go away, part of me doesn’t. But the part of me that doesn’t knows that it will go away anyway……………..
And the part of me that wants it to go away is in denial.

D:

SOCAL TRIP.

It was definitely an amazing experience… I’m so thankful that I was invited to go on this trip. Two college trips in a row!! I have so much to say, I really do.

I learned so much about everyone. And I really bonded a lot more with Anqi.

I learned a lot about LA county, as well.. a lot about the communities said to be “hella bad” and such. Met an artist that had been sentenced to life two times? I believe it was something of that sort. But anyway, he was really inspirational… and peoples’ experiences (from the day at the Chuco center) living in South Central were really just eye opening. And it really motivated me to make a change… and it made me want to be in LA.. making me lean towards UCLA (for college). I really don’t know yet. If I get the scholarship at Cal, well, I think I might just choose Cal. I don’t have a problem with Cal anymore. But I would really prefer UCLA… it’s just that the weather.. I’m not sure if it’s good for my skin. And for those that don’t know, my skin is superly duperly sensitive. I feel like an alien sometimes. Or maybe I’m just special. But it sucks to have to be so paranoid about being exposed to the sun and such. I look really lame…

Cough.
I hate having this one feeling.
It’s like being a little kid again.
I just hate the feeling.
Maybe it’ll go away soon…

And I suddenly felt really disappointed… not just because I didn’t finish up hw while in LA, but… I think it’s like, this sort of feeling I had after the East Coast trip as well. Because I feel like wow, will I ever really talk with those people again? I really hope I do. I hope it wasn’t just a one week thing. Because it was really great spending it with all those people. And talking with people…… it was fun and enlightening.

I got.. HELLA dark. Well, that’s just my opinion.

More to say later.