You never know.

I’ve finally graduated..
June 5th, 2009. That was the day of totally mixed feelings… happiness, sadness, excitement, the whole shabang. I nearly teared at the end when the graduation was done and everyone was to move their tassels from right to left. I love 09… this year’s been great. Without all my friends, I would not have experienced all that I have. The world is so big; I can’t travel it alone. I can’t go on life doing things on my own… I mean, independence is one thing, but in the end, we all do have to work together to make ends meet.

I’ve been so….. contemplative lately. So, looking at the recent posts I’ve made.. well, things have changed. Feelings developed. Much more obvious now… and it’s good that our feelings are out. But it’s been confusing, wondering what we are. I know we both like each other, we both have feelings for each other. But he says that we’re not really official – that he hasn’t asked me out yet. And I just find it confusing because we’re always hanging out… what is this? What do these things mean? I don’t know. Wish I did. Even though we did talk about it, I’m still not too clear about it. And I’ve been waiting for that day. I just feel like it’ll never come, like his words don’t mean anything. Saying he’ll do this and that. Am I just impatient?

Like the last post, fear is the worst thing ever. I still fear. I always have and always will. It’s stupid though, because we fear things that will inevitably happen. What’s the use? Why be scared? Just live life, right? It’s never that simple. There’ll always be things in the way. I always fear the opinion of others, even though opinion is a good thing. Well, it should be. I’m way too conscious of myself and how others think of me. And I think that’s the bad thing about me… wish I didn’t have it. Because that’s what stops me from doing things… stops me from having the fun I should have! It makes me think too much and feel the way I do now. I still wonder all the time.

What if?